Remunerator News

Jul 2 2014

Funny Novated Lease Car Insurance Claims

Everyone believes that insurance company representatives have a long, tedious job taking car insurance inquiries and claims.

Yet people often overlook how sometimes, they can come across car accident claims and excuses, and some of them are ridiculously hilarious.

We have found some of the most unintentionally funny explanations for their accidents. What the person was thinking is not clear, some obviously are trying to shift the blame, while others seem to be focused on noting every detail in their claim. Whatever the reason may be for these descriptions, they are unquestionably comical! Keep in mind that all of these recounts are real!

True Claims written on forms:

  • “I collided with a stationary tree.”
  • “I don’t know who was to blame for the accident; I wasn’t looking.”
  • “The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.”
  • I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.”
  • “As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.”
  • Question; Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
    Answer: Travelled by bus?
  • “I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.”
  • “If the other driver had stopped a few yards behind himself the accident would not have happened.”
  • “A sheep had escaped from a lorry which had overturned on the overpass and in fright it jumped over the railing, landing on the bonnet of my car. The sheep was unscathed and ran off, which is more than can be said for the car; it was a write-off.”
  • “The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran him over.”
  • “I bumped into a lamp-post which was obscured by human beings.”
  • “I pulled away from the curb, looked across at my mother in law and drove straight over an embankment.”
  • After colliding with a cow, the claimant submitted the following on his insurance claim form:
    “Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn.”
    “Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.”

 

Claims Assessor: “Motor Claims, this is XXXX.”

Customer: “God, finally. I’ve been on hold to you for ages! My claim number is [claim number].”

Claims Assessor: “I’m so sorry to hear that. Here, let me ring this up for you.”

(I get halfway through before I realize something is off about the number the customer has given me.)

Customer: “I’m sick to the teeth! I need to know what you guys are doing with my car!”

Claims Assessor: “Uhm, ma’am—”

Customer: “You keep telling me it will be ready this week! Someone will call me back! Blah blah blah!”

Claims Assessor: “Ma—”

Customer: “Just tell me what’s going on with my car!”

Claims Assessor: “I… can’t.”

Customer: “What?!”

Claims Assessor: “I can’t tell you what’s going on with your car.”

Customer: “Wait, why not?!”

Claims Assessor: “This isn’t one of our claim numbers.”

Customer: “Is this [other insurance company]?”

Claims Assessor: “No, madam. This is [insurance company].”

Customer: “Well ****. I just wasted half an hour of my life.” *click*

 

Customer: “Oh, the policy isn’t in my name.”

Claims Assessor: “May I speak to the policy holder to get permission to speak to you and add you to the policy?”

Customer: “No, she’s not speaking to me.”

Claims Assessor: “Okay, well that just means I am unable to give you any information or make any changes for you at this point of time.”

Customer: “But it’s my car! She just took me off all the policies after I cheated on her…Never mind, I’ll just call back and pretend I’m her.” *click*

 

Customer: “I’d like to get full coverage insurance on this vehicle.”

Insurance Company: “Well, your car is over 15 years old, so I don’t think that will be possible. We simply don’t have a company willing to write it.”

Customer: “But, what am I supposed to do if I want full coverage?”

Insurance Company: “I guess get a newer car?”

Customer: “If I wreck that car I’m screwed! I’m not that good of a driver to start with!”